In August

bits and pieces at the end of the month

August (as a noun) the eighth month of the Gregorian calendar / (as an adjective) marked by majestic dignity or grandeur. 

Origin - according to a website search of Merriam Webster: “first calendar used by the ancient Romans began the year with March. The month that we now call August was then the sixth month of the year and was known by the name Sextilis, a Latin word meaning "sixth." When the emperor Augustus Caesar was in power, however, he wished to have a month named after himself. The Roman senate satisfied him by changing Sextilis to Augustus. The English word August comes from the Latin Augustus.” 

I’m doing that thing writers do when they don’t know how to start something so they start with a definition. August is a good word for a bad month. Well, not bad, it's just a bit much of a month. A month of squeezing out all of the juicy bits of summer, back to schools, and it's when the temperature and humidity peaks to ungodly levels. I think we should bring back August’s adjective usage, it somehow feels exactly correct and in keeping with the energy of the month. It is a bit majestic and grand, all this sun and summer. 

It's when I feel a little manic in the heat and tired, somehow. 

Did we make it to the beach enough? Should we do another camping trip before the weather gets colder? Did we do enough? Were there enough memories made? 

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My boys turned 5 this month and they also started school right after. Two big milestones of life packed close to each other. They are gangly these days, no more of the chunks of early baby and toddlerhood. You only really notice how much of chunks your babies were when you look back at pictures and realize how much they’ve changed. Now, it looks like we don’t feed them despite both eating so much food that it's hard to keep up. 5 years.  5 years ago and right before they were born I remember moving through the incredible tiredness of July and finding a second energy in August, I was there, almost there. I had made it far enough in pregnancy with the twins that I knew they would probably be okay. There was relief. They are proper little (or big) boys now. I could write something like, “where did all the time go?” but it doesn’t feel like it went by quickly, it felt long and embedded with meaning at every step. Rather, what is strange to look back on is that I can trace how much change I’ve gone through in such a (relatively when compared to a whole life) short amount of time. I wrote about my boys, having twins, the changes in motherhood, and these 5 years earlier this month. 

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On writing -  I have felt less of an inclination to do it. Rather, I want to take pictures, drive, go out to eat, see a movie, go on a hike. My mind is rushing on action mode and bypassing reflection. This feels like the energy of this month. 

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I took the train up to DC earlier this month for a work trip. Rain storms and grumbling grey skies delayed everything from leaving in Richmond. The woman sitting next to me asked if we could smoke in the bathrooms of the train, I said I don’t believe so. She would get off at stops and suck a few drags while Amtrak staff yelled at her before getting back on. She was going up all the way up to New York and had been on the train when I got on. My dad called DC home for many years and I’d go spend most holiday breaks with him. Later, I’d go to college there. DC is a good summer city. It's unpleasantly hot but the city is made for walking around, going to a free museum before getting trashed at a trendy bar. Maybe you’ll see an *important person* too, who knows? When I was there as a younger adult, I’d frequent black cat, 930, and rock n roll hotel for shows. During the days, I worked various low paying jobs, serving, temping at different, shitty nonprofits, even helping a WWII veteran write his memoirs. During this time I was very concerned with networking and meeting people and finding a “do gooder” job that was “important.” I have a vivid memory of a longer temp gig I had in Crystal City, it was during the summer and I’d go for long walks during my lunch, listen to music and read at benches. I felt completely unsure of what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life, while simultaneously feeling too old to do anything too exciting or different. I feel younger than that now. 

My dad is everywhere in DC, too. Little hints and memories tucked away in different spots. It is hard to be there without thinking of him in everything. 

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We’ve spent weekends as tourists and our latest interest has been exploring the Northern Neck region of Virginia. This is the northern part of the three peninsulas, called necks here, on the western shore of the Chesapeake Bay. The Potomac River lines the northern part of the neck and the Rappahannock River lines the south. They are wide rivers leading out the ocean. This is where Captain John Smith would have traveled up in the 1600’s as the first European known to have visited the Northern Neck. It's where the Powhatan and other native American Tribes made homes on the shores of the big rivers. You can trace the waters all the way up to Washington DC, Annapolis, and Baltimore. I’d eventually like to make it to Tangier Island, an island 12 miles into the Chesapeake Bay. Made famous for slowly disappearing with the rising sea levels. The population that makes up the island came in the late 1700’s, originally as farmers, then becoming crab and oyster harvesters (or “waterman”). The population speaks this interesting dialect spurred by geographic isolation. 

These days the area is dotted with big houses and docks on the river shoreline. I imagine myself with one of these houses, isolated on some land, taking my kayak or canoe out every day to explore the winding waterways. A dream. 

We found a tucked away little piece of shoreline out here. The kids run around on the sand and into the calm brackish water. We watch birds fly around into the bay wind and listen to the persistent hum of the bugs in the woods. 

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This month burns bright. It isn’t the slow and meandering of July, when you are sloppy and tired with heat. Or the anticipatory energy of June, with sometimes still cool days and plans for the summer ahead of you. August is the reminder, when summer reaches its zenith. Do what you meant to do before we go to the next part.